Long road
I used to sit reflectionless, and watch the eel slither his way slowly around the swimming-hole of my childhood. By the cool clear pool, under the shade of a giant fig, I'd sit motionless, observing him for hours sometimes. There I would escape the reality of my teenage world. Some days, I'd stay until the daylight filtering through the leaves passed it's golden hour, and only the chill of early evening would shiver me out of my dream-state.
Of late, I've been eel-watching again, and so calming was the gentle undulating movement of his serpentine body, that I was easily able to give reality the slip, for a while.
But reality is an tenacious bastard, and here I sit, staring into his familiar eyes, as he holds my hand, and reassures me it will be OK. And it is good to see him again, it is always so good to feel his warm embrace. But despite his comfort and warmth, I know there will come a time, when I slip out of the room before he wakes, because I know I'm still afraid to commit to reality.
Of late, I've been eel-watching again, and so calming was the gentle undulating movement of his serpentine body, that I was easily able to give reality the slip, for a while.
But reality is an tenacious bastard, and here I sit, staring into his familiar eyes, as he holds my hand, and reassures me it will be OK. And it is good to see him again, it is always so good to feel his warm embrace. But despite his comfort and warmth, I know there will come a time, when I slip out of the room before he wakes, because I know I'm still afraid to commit to reality.
Labels: often I just can't see what is right in front of me really obvious things that I really should fucking notice or feel...but I don't, sadly
4 Comments:
And I am often afraid to comment on reality. Here's to you. xx, c
Clarissa, thank you. I just find at times it is easier to distract myself with soothing things than to face the reality (and often tedium) of the daily grind.
Why is reality such a sharp stick in the eye for most people eh?!
I had a student share with me some of her current 'reality' a couple of weeks ago, and man - I wish I could find her an eel to watch... just once.
She badly deserves it, and there's not one thing I can about anything, but turn both my ears on - and hope my brain switches off... sometimes another person's reality frightens the absolute bejesus out of me.
Hope reality gives you a day off sometime soon C...
Cheers
B, I'm slowly learning that I can face reality, and that whilst it might hurt, I am strong enough to get through the crap. Luckily, my reality is not that crap-filled, but we all have our bad moments, don't we mate?
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