"Win Yourself A Cheap Tray"

Day Two Opinion: More affordable property, laid-back, friendly people, fuck-all traffic, fabulous, uncrowded, squeaky white-sand beaches that stretch for miles, peaceful, serene, quiet, very quiet. As the squeaking sand welcomingly caressed my feet, I avowed, "God, I love this place".

Day Six Opinion: Second-rate houses, country hicks, mad-idiot drivers, lonely, rip-filled beaches, and it's only so fucking quiet because there is fuck-all to do. No yum-cha, no opera, no great dining, no live music (except AC/DC tribute band, at the Rissole of the nearest big town), no clothes with style or interest, no facilities beyond the "Community Centre", nowhere to drink that does not have the tinkle and jingle of poker machines. Boring, boring, boring hicksville, "Let's go home a day early." And there you have it, another broken vow...